Day 12: FAR Clinic

Today has been a bit of a rough day.  Treatment all went as expected, but John is not feeling well.  He has some migrating joint pain, and  he is feeling homesick.  He's been missing his dog fiercely today. We were hoping to go hiking this evening to check out Utah's scenic trails, by John just doesn't feel up to it.  Our last night was instead spent watching Seinfeld and the Simpsons.  Maybe we will get it later.





We did have some good news this morning, though. During John's time with Elanda, we noticed that his heart beat looked significantly stronger on the oximeter. What used to be a tiny little beat and a farstr heart rate is now a stronger beat with a more normal heart rate.  This is about the only difference we have been able to note so far.  John's main complaint has been fatigue. His treatments are exhausting, so it's hard to notice a change there.  Here's hoping he will continue to improve.


What upsets John the most is when people don't get what it feels like to have Lyme. He may look normal on the outside, but that doesn't mean he feels well.  Sometimes he puts all his energy into looking happy and energetic for a few hours just to keep people from having to worry about him.  While I try as best I can to imagine what it is like, truth is, I don't know.  I know first trimester exhaustion.  I know insomnia.  I know sciatic nerve pain.  But what I will never know is something as potentially as permanent as his disease may be... the feelings of hopelessness, that he will never be normal like his peers, the feeling that he will always have to drink green smoothies, and will never eat pizza again.  I happened upon an article that explains what it is like to have Lyme.  We read this
article together and he confirmed that it's pretty accurate.  Heartbreaking.

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